[ as soon as he opens the door to his bedroom he'll find d.va lounging on his bed in nothing but a couple of black & bronze ribbons; all carefully curated to cover up the bits she'd like him to unwrap. there's a sprig of mistletoe attached to the tip of her tail, which she's got hovering above her head. ]
Sponsored by Mountain Dew® & Doritos®; ty 4 my key!!1 cant wait 2 c wut its for n also nice sav bak ther u had me worried 4 a bit b/c holy shit thos attkcs o hers were BAD NEWS BEARS at first i was lik ok... not 2 bad n then she startd turnin on the BULLSHIT!!!11! but im glad u got in ther in the nick of time 2 lmk if u evr ned help again ok :)
Sponsored by Mountain Dew® & Doritos®; lol i am with u on that him n his wrds r truly sumthin else next time i c enthin from him @ fanmail im headin strait 2 th dorm b4 readin
...aw! ELCIPSE!!!!!!1 do it u desrve 2 b happy 2 u kno n relationshps can b a lot but they r ttly wrth it & we will get him bak, ok im not sure how, but we r gonna do it
Eclipse: It's not just that but the damn gall of him to say some of the things he does! Eclipse: What the hell am I supposed to do except try to pay him back at the soonest possible opportunity when I feel like I'm being challenged? Eclipse: And it's not like I wasn't happy with our arrangement before, nor is it a matter of whether I deserve happiness
[ ... ]
Eclipse: It's just, I suppose at this point saying that we're 'friends with benefits' is disingenuous Eclipse: And I would rather not regret the decisions I make
[ He's not going to say anything about getting back Lancelot just yet. People coming and going are normal enough that it feels too much like making a promise he doesn't know can be kept. ]
[ alright, since this is becoming a more serious conversation about feelings and all that she's going to make a conscious effort to type more coherently. ]
Sponsored by Mountain Dew® & Doritos®; i know somehow he just manages to put all the right stuff into his letters and... he just about killed me in fanmail i had been blindsided by it and, yeah, that makes sense, though its a shame we wont be able to see his reactions and stuff i bet theyd be super cute!
to be honest, it kind of sounds like its definitely become more than just FWB. like, from my experience FWB is just somebody that you can rely on for a hug, a kiss, or even a fuck every now and again, like for creature comforts! if that makes sense but as soon as feelings enter the picture... then i definitely feel like the term just sort of, yeah, doesnt really fit anymore
and definitely having regrets, especially in regard to relationships, is not something you want to do especially here like, going for it can be kind of worrying but it sounds like you guys are already closer than close so :)
[ ...Mmm okay maybe he should also address the other stuff too. ]
Eclipse: To be honest I was kind of anxious when it...all happened Eclipse: I never had anyone be interested in me that way or vice-versa Eclipse: And maybe someone else would have been a little, I don't know, happier about that sort of thing happening to them Eclipse: But besides me just screaming because I didn't know what I was supposed to do next I...
[ ... ]
Eclipse: I thought of when I couldn't feel sure if my wellbeing mattered as much as other people's loved ones Eclipse: That maybe I was just screwed whenever it was me against the people the others loved so much, despite supposedly being someone they cared for too Eclipse: And the idea that I might become that same thing that made me so unhappy, all for love, was more terrifying than realising I wanted to kiss him
[ The typing just stops for a long moment, presumably because Eclipse has to wonder if it was okay to be that honest. ]
Eclipse: I guess I felt that it wouldn't be fair dumping that baggage on him, so I took someone's advice on the 'fwb' thing Eclipse: I don't really know how close you can call us when we were just friends before Eclipse: And we didn't exactly get a lot of time before he was transferred Eclipse: But at the very least I think it's okay for me to ask this of him now
I remember it all. Ever been exploded to bits and then have those bits exploded? Yeah, that's what happened that particular encounter, because a bunch of other fuckos decided to interfere in our fight.
And, hahaha, remember, not dying meant I could feel all the pain that those itty bitty pieces yielded.
No, because when it works as intended it's fine. It's just when I would have died and then I'm rendered useless, but, like, still *there* that it sucks.
Page 118 of 139