...it has nothing to do with that sorta stuff. It's more like... I'm committed to making bad decisions, I guess, and there's nothing that's going to stop me from taking her out. I have to. I can't not, especially now, because I have too. many. reasons. [ she balls a fist. ] She's hurt too many people I care about and [ digs her nails into her palm until she's drawing blood. ] that's not okay. But maybe, like, deep down I know that I'm not strong enough and I don't know how to get strong enough, so... if suddenly I'm given the opportunity...

I'm not good enough, basically.
I have to be strong enough to... to do everything I want to do, because otherwise I'm just going to let everybody down, myself included.

It's what happened back home, and... and that... it still tears me up inside. If I had been stronger, then maybe I wouldn't have, like, ...I...

[ but she's getting off topic. ]

[ she moves toward kohime to catch her hand. ] I'm going to do everything in my power to be strong enough and good enough, so when the time comes I don't disappoint you. I know what we have isn't ideal, but you have to know [ she drops a kiss on her hand. ] that I do care for you and I would lay my life on the line for yours.