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And if this keeps up [ she motions to the speedometer and how she rides her hard and how he's riding her hard. ] I'm going to need new tires and... I doubt she's going to last much longer. My van already needs a new windshield. [ she's just going to sit back in her seat and try not to groan into her hands. ]

I probably should have not invested in a little self restra- ha. [ sits back up. ] If we head back to my workshop there is something I wanted to give you. Aaaalso I did spend my last bunch of points on stuff to fill the void my mech is never going to fill. [ never going to let that go. ]

[In this rare bizarro world where D.Va wants Intensity to show restraint, he complies. Dropping the speed to a modest 200. That's more than enough for him to still be a terror on the highway though. Good thing there aren't any other cars.]

Is this void a fleet of vehicles?

[And laughs]

A van? Please. Don't tell me you got stuck with soccer mom duty for Heart Soldier. They can get their own transportation.

[ GOOD THING. and, ouch, he hit the nail on the head with that. she makes a face at him. ] It might be. If I had been on FiN I probably could have had a personal assistant mini mech or something... [ sighs. she could have also worked all of the tech here, which is something that irks her on occasion. like, her workshop is pretty fucken useless. she tried learning another hobby and it just wasn't the same. only snaps out of her thoughts when he starts poking fun of her van. ]

I like my van, thank you very much. And would you trust any of them behind the wheel, no. Driving is my job. Soccer mom during the day and, IDK, [ vague hand motions. ] racecar driver by night.

I might let Eclipse have a spin behind the wheel. Isn't Mercury supposed to be---

[Lifts one hand off the wheel for air quotes]

"Responsible"?

The rest though---

Could be amusing if nothing else? Especially if you got a stick-shift.

Technically. [ looks back over at him and cracks a small smile. ]

And this is stick, which is why I’m reluctant. I don’t need somebody stalling her out, though I may have to see.

Please call one of your paladin helper Lives if you do try to teach them.

That's quality content right there. Better than most games even.

[ snorts. ]

I'll do it only if you promise to be on stand-by for when one of them inevitably crashed my precious car and it needs to be pieced back together.

Is that all?

[He also laughs in return]

Done deal. That just means I get multiple rounds of entertainment so that's a win/win for me.

...well, there is something else, but I have to wait until I have enough points. It's actually what I'd hit you up about when pre-hell-venture started, but that'll have to wait. It'll be something real interesting, that I can promise.

Just remember to call an experiment live, so I can get more points. An experiment in driving me crazy. [ more laughter. ] I don't think even half of them know what a car is, though thankfully from being here they've learned. Ohhhh, this will certainly be something else...

Of course. An experiment of can you teach an old technology-less dog new tricks. And how fast can one person strip the gears in a manual car.

...

Going to keep me in suspense about the other? Or should I wait until Heart Soldier kisses their way to another victory?

[ ...she whines at the thought. her poor car. don't mind her leaning her head on the window and setting a hand on the car door. ] I need to be the first one to run her ragged, so that's our job today. We're going to drive her into the ground.

I'm going to keep you in suspense. It'll be more fun that way. And don't hate the players, Intensity, hate the game.

[He pauses for a second and then takes his hands off the wheel, the car still rocketing forward on the highway.]

You want to drive then?

Seems only fair you'd get to break her in.

I'm literally going to break her in, so if you'd like to drive her for a bit longer, then by all means. [ ... ] But thanks.

[ sits back up in her seat. ] Let me see what sort of crazy shit you can do behind the wheel, Intensity.

[Pushes the driver's seat back as far it goes. Now he's no longer touching the pedals, but it still keeps careening down the highway.

He crooks a finger at D.Va.

Come here.]

[ arches a brow. ]

[ hesitates,
but takes care in shifting over the center console and into his lap. ]

[ she’s glad he can’t see her face, which is a bit pink, as her hands immediately find the wheel. ]

[Oh good. He doesn't have to guide her hands then. He's sling one arm low around her hips instead.

And the wheel will move effortlessly under her fingertips.

Though the car will once again zoom up to maximum speed. And the brakes will only work "somewhat". Drifting or banking or get the fuck out.]

[ she keeps a loose grip on the wheel so he can move it as his leisure, only gripping it hard when she wants to tighten any of the turns or other maneuvers he’s making, though she doesn’t do it often or really at all, because at these speeds the slightest miscalculation could send the car rolling down the highway. ]

[ ...brakes,
pft, who needs ‘em. ]

I’m glad this place is deserted and all, but it would be a bit more interesting with a few others around to eat our dust. The vid room is great and all, but there’s nothing like this...

[Eventually, he lets his hands fall from the steering wheel so she can drive - enjoying the scenery as it goes past.

She's not wrong!]

Think there are any rich knights?

Then you could race for points and also consider it an investment.

[ she is going to drive like a fucken lunatic,
and yet still keep complete control. ]

[ she just knows how to handle her car even at speeds like this. it's like second nature or something. ]

I bet there's got to be at least one. I need to know what everybody does with their points if they don't spend them. Like, c'mon, hoarding them doesn't do anybody any good. What the hell is the fun in that anyway! I already can't wait to make my next purchase... [ she looks back at him, briefly. ]

We need to do more double lives, since we're both short on points.

But of course. Every time I'm right and you're wrong. we can just call a debate Live. Should be rolling in the points before you know it.

Very funny, Intensity.

[ she pushes back against him, hard, taking her eyes off the road to chuckle and kiss under his chin. ] Call a Live then. [ she grabs for her own phone, hitting the button and then tossing it onto the dash as she grabs for the e-brake and prepares to cut the wheel. ]

Sponsored by Mountain Dew® & Doritos® aka the Idol formally known as MEKA aka D.Va here of Heart Soldier Senshi here with Intensity of Future is Now and this guy thinks he’s always right and I’m always wrong. Ain’t that right, smartass? [ ribs him. ] I’m here to help prove him wrong. Or by his hypothesis, I guess, prove him right. I guess we’ll find out~

[He falters slightly at the unexpected show of affection---

But then the cameras are rolling and his trademark smug smirk is in full bloom. Grinning from ear to ear, he drapes one arm against the side of the car and his own Live button with his FiN powers.]

Sounds like the burden of proof starts with you, Corn Chip.

You're already 450 points richer and thus my hypothesis has already come true. Your move.

[ she takes her hands off the wheel to clap them together;
clap... clap...... clap......... clap............ clap. ]

[ and she's taking the wheel again. ] I'll give him this. Point 1 goes to Cup Noodle. Move lives, more points. But that's a freebie. [ snickers. ] Let's do something a bit harder... [ she starts heading toward one of the train stations. ]

It's time for a race. Since no one spends points on fun shit here in Hell we're going to have to rely on the train, here, so, what do you say, Intensity, do you think we can beat the train? In order to do so we've got to jump the train at the next station and this particular train, if I'm not mistaken, stops at the one after, so it shouldn't be slowing down.

I know we can beat the train.

But then I also know you'll throw a fit if you see the state of your brand new car after we do. So I guess it's up to how much this poor little Heart Soldier can take in the name of science, points and reckless abandon for no apparent purpose.

[Not that he seems like he's complaining]

Let's do it then, Intensity. Just promise you'll piece my car back together if we're going to crash it or something.

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