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[420blazeit]

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13:37 pm

CODE BY

" 미안하다!
I'm not here right now,
but leave a message and I'll get back to you asap!
♥ D.Va"

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Re: Day 164, Afternoon

[sunflowering]

[ Eyes closing, she swallows. Her unit tells her so... Dva, too. She's grateful that they see her as an important friend, even if seeing the good qualities in herself has been difficult of late. The past couple weeks have been...they've been a challenge. And this on top of it all is just a little more than she can handle at the moment. Ultimately, she shakes her head. ]

It wasn't just about Shrike-san. Kohime... that person is manipulative and cruel. She doesn't exactly make it a secret, nor the fact that she doesn't like us on Taisho. My only real interaction was with her in that house. She made it clear she disliked us before her unit attacked mine.

[ Her fingers tighten, curling into the skirts of her dress, knuckles pulling white. ]

I don't even care that Baritones attacked us. I know people weren't themselves in that house. Even though they've never liked us from the start. Of course I died in that altercation, but she can't seem to forget the fact that she was killed as well by one of my unitmates despite being within the instigating party.

[ As though she's the only victim in all the world. The hypocrisy drives her mad. ]

. . . Someone came over, trying to figure out who it was that killed her.

[ She shakes her head. ]

I lied and told them I did, even though it's not true. I don't want people targetting others on my unit. Especially when she was responsible for part of the attack on us. But I don't like that people are inquiring into it. So many others were killed... so why are people trying to investigate into who Taisho somehow wronged on BARiTONES?

[ Her fingers tighten all the more. ]

I died 6 times in that house. Even... Even my most brutal death, I-- I'm not singling people out, you know? But she is and so I don't trust her. Not even a little, and I was right not to.

[ Her jaw tightens. ]

Kohime-san wanted protection outside of games and so she wanted Shrike-san to defend her no matter what should she need help until the point that she dies. And then the contract would be canceled. I was concerned because... if Kohime instigated something between one of Shrike's own unit members or my own, then Shrike would be forced into facing off with them. I didn't even outright reject the idea. I just expressed my concern and explained that I didn't know her very well... and wanted the assurance that this wouldn't come around to hurt Shrike or my own unit.

[ She shakes her head, feeling hurt and bitter about the entire affair. ]

She stormed off, and then later Shrike contacted me again to demand that I fight her in a duel for Kohime's honor and to force me to apologize. Hah-- [ Her voice cracks ] she did exactly what I was worried about with a contract. Kohime hid behind Shrike and instigated a fight. And I just feel so stupid.

Why did I care about someone like Shrike, to begin with?

[ When clearly she hadn't cared in return. She lifts a hand to scrub at her eyes.]

To get into her stupid graces, she was willing to use and humiliate me for my discomfort. I already--

[ Her voice cracks and she swallows, unable to fight back all the tears that want to spring anew. ]

I already knew I was pathetic in that house. And I hate fighting, but apparently that wasn't enough. So I fought because I was worried that refusing would have brought consequences to my unit. And I lost. Again.

[ Her chest feels so tight. Losing and failing over and over and over again takes a toll. ]

So I hope they're happy. They deserve one another and their toxic friendship. But I don't want anything to do with either of them again.