420blazeit | 🎮 INBOX.

You know I don't mind.

I know exactly what you were insinuating...
And if you're going to do something like that to anybody,
then it's best to do it to somebody like me.

[ her tail coils around his wrist this time and she jerks him inside, eyes turning to slits as she stares him down. ]

If you're going to get to know somebody else, then you're going to have to get to know yourself first, and if you refuse to do even that... then how do you intend to be happy?

[the look on his face is totally unguarded as she yanks him inside, stumbling, his cane dropping to the floor]

... Dva...

Raven...

Why are you holding back?

[fuck. he should just tell her, shouldn't he? he owes her. but it's terrifying to admit, as much to himself as someone else.

...]

I... I don't want to hurt you. I'm jealous, and possessive, and if you give me an inch I'll take a mile. I'll destroy everything and everyone else who even looks at you. I'll make you miserable. I'll make you hate me.

...

No, that's... not it. It's more selfish than that. [laughs a little, breathy and unhinged] I'm just... a coward who's afraid... of getting hurt.

I don't think I could ever hate you, Raven, ...least of all more than I hate myself. [ a self depreciating laugh. ] But if you're afraid of getting hurt, then that just means you're desperate for love, yeah, ..? since, like, you can't know one without knowing the other.

[ she reaches to take both of his hands, gentle, as she traces random patterns as she continues. ]

You're not a coward.

...something like this cuts deeper than any sword ever could, so it's alright to be scared. But you're not alone, Raven, you never have to be alone again.

Whatever this is, whatever we have, it's not going anywhere. Ever.

[he closes his eyes, brow furrowed deeply]

You shouldn't make a promise like that. You need to know when to run, to save yourself. Don't let some selfish fool like me devour you. Claw your way out if you have to.

I'm capable of saving myself.

I would never let you destroy the relationships I worked so hard to make, ours included.

...and how do you know I'm not the monster, Raven.

[ snorts, chuckling under her breath. ]

I mean, look a me.

[his eyes open, and he brings both hands she was holding to cup her face, tilting it up towards him as he searches her eyes]

... is that why you hate yourself? Why you think it's fine for me to hurt you?

...

No, actually,
though I hadn't really liked the changes my body underwent in the other hell initially.

I've come to terms with them now. In fact, I even like some of them.

I hate myself, because I'm... [ she takes a deep breath, turning her face the slightest amount so she can hide it in one of his hands. ] because I'm a failure.

[his thumb rubs back and forth over one of her cheekbones]

In what way?

I was a mech pilot back home, one of five, and... [ swallows, jaw setting tight as she clenches her teeth behind a forced smile. ] I jumped the gun, I guess, which is no real surprise for the likes of me, y'know. [ an almost pitiful laugh follows. ]

But it was our job to defend our home...
And I... I died...

I let my country down.
I let my team down.
And I let myself down.

Ah... you were a soldier. Haunted by your own death.

...so you see, you could never hurt me as badly as I hurt myself.

I don't think that's true. You wouldn't be so... vibrant, if your heart was dead to pain.

Edited 2020-04-26 00:39 (UTC)

[ steps closer, getting up in his space until their breath mingles as they talk. ]

I'll stake some faith in you if you stake some in me.

I don't think you'd go that far, but if you did I'd stop you.

[his eyelids hood and he stares at her with an intense gaze, leaning closer]

You know how cowardly I can be. You still want to take that chance on me?

Raven,

you're worth it, and I'm going to get you to see that you're worth it too.

If you regret it, you only have yourself to blame.

[he closes the distance between them and kisses her, both hands grasping her face]

[ she makes a surprised noise against his mouth, because she hadn't been expecting him to kiss her, since he seemed to have an aversion to this kind of contact. maybe she would regret unleashes the ~~beast~~ demon, so to speak, but her life is bad decision after bad decision, so what's one more... ]

[ grabbing a hold of his shirt she holds him closely, returning the kiss once she's got half a mind too. ]

[as rough as the kiss started, it quickly segues into something softer. raven doesn't let go, holding her close, as if daring her to push him away]

[ the thought doesn't even cross her mind. in fact, she coils her tail around him to hold him in place as she kisses him until her lungs burn, stopping only to rest her forehead to his so that she can catch her breath. ]

[he needs to catch his breath as well, grateful for the moment of rest, especially since his head is spinning right now]

... you didn't stop me.

[ shakes her head. ]

I enjoyed it, ...
and hopefully you did too.

... I'm tempted to do it again.

I'm not going to stop you.

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