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[ He sits back, watching her in confusion. And then even more confusion. ]

Wh-- hey! Are you sure you want to do that? You're already cold.

[ And HE certainly doesn't wanna get in that cold fuckin water ]

And that's why it's the perfect thing to do! I can't get cold if I'm already cold. It's a double negative. [ throws her top on the ground and then wiggles out of her skirt. ] I'll actually just get warm, probably. It's science. [ clearly. ]

[ starts heading toward the water, stepping out of her panties along the way. ]

I don't think--

[ Oh, he's already walking away. Welp.

He gets to his feet and trails after her, suddenly wondering if this is going to turn into lifeguard duty. ]

[ she stops dead in her tracks as soon as a wave crashes to the shore and the water trails up toward her, touching her feet. ]

[ holy. shit.
it's freezing. ]

[ but if she backs down now she's going to look like an idiot. also, she can't let the beach win. as the wave retreats she starts walking about. ]

Don't think, King, just doooo~ [ starts running and, after a moment, when she's splashing through the shallow she dives through one of the small waves and starts swimming out. ]

[ it's not so bad if you don't think about it. ]

[ Since D.Va is specifically avoiding thinking today, probably King should not put it on pause too.

He stops just at the water's edge, watching her carefully. ]

[ she doesn't like to think when she's upset... but it also doesn't help that she's drunk now. now caution's been thrown to the ocean~! ]

[ she's disappears beneath the surface... and a few minutes pass and she doesn't resurface. hm! ]

[ ... Oh.

Okay, it's time to start hastily wading out into the water after her. ]

Screeeeeeeeeeeeeee^{eeeee^eeeee}!

[ a creature BURST out from belong the surface and screams, splashing around in a frenzy. ]

[ He leaps back in clear alarm, momentarily wondering what the FUCK kind of ecosystem addition this is--

But then he notices the tentacles and coloring and freezes. ]

--D.Va?!

[ she dog paddles toward the shore like a mad ~~woman~~ monster and screeches again, her tentacles going wild as she shakes off the cold water, because it had been a LOT colder than she imagined. ]

[ EW, BAD!
TOO COLD!!
BLECH!!! ]

[ she's about to take off toward the pier when she trips in the sand and faceplants, screaming in frustration. getting to her feet she growls, glaring at king like it's his fault. ]

[ Holy SHIT

What is he supposed to do about this?!

The stupid thing, obviously, which is rush over to her. ]

Hey -- just try to calm down! What happened?!

...!

[ the fuck is this tiny starfish man doing?! she seems super confused about him running at her and takes a step back, but then... no, they must be playing chicken, so she immediately starts rushing forward. ]

[ she lets out some inhuman noise as she runs at him, her enormous ears flopping around and her tentacles catching the wind behind her. king's going to realize something kind of hilarious if ( and when ) they collide. she still weighs the same as she did when she was human, so... lol. ]

[ Holy shit: the sequel.

He freezes in place, trying to decide if he should run or stay. She recognizes him, right? Right...? ]

Hey! Can you understand me?!

[ nope! ]

[ INCOMING! ]

[ since she's running she can still barrel him over if he doesn't move, but the collision probably isn't as bad as he thinks it might be. ]

[ Yeah, uh.

He braces like he expects to get crushed, which doesn't happen. But she definitely manages to knock him over -- he goes down with none of his usual grace, shock getting the better of him. ]

[ she had kind of expected to crush him too... but after she knocks into him she stumbles a bit, managing to avoid toppling over by some hellish miracle. she doesn't turn around for a second helping though, and instead keeps running toward a few planks of wood that have washed ashore. ]

[ as her newest mortal enemy she immediately starts trying to smash them, which proves to be no small feat, but she does eventually manage... her tentacles taking them and hurling them out of view. there. mcfucken perfect. if she can't see them, then they're no longer a prob- ]

[ nani the fuck. ]

[ stares at the sand or, more specifically, a crab. ]

[ snorts in its face as a big fuck you to it. ]

[ He's... not dead.

How...??? ]

[ After a moment of reeling he rolls over to watch her fight the driftwood, quickly shifting into Problem Solving Mode.

So, earlier strategy didn't work, and she doesn't seem to know him. At least... not outwardly.

But what about inwardly...? ]

[ Well.

What's the worst that can happen?

He gets to his feet and approaches her again, more assertive this time. ]

D.Va!

[ Running right for her and trying to leap onto her back, THINK FAST ]

[ ^stomp _stomp stomps on the crab. ]

[ ... but, hm, that doesn't seem to do anything but piss it off, since she's just smushing it further and further into sand. this confuses her, like, a lot, so she bends down to get a closer look at this INDESTRUCTIBLE ARMORED SHELL BEAST. ]

[ king shouts the next moment so she looks in his direction, the crab taking his opportunity to grab her ear, so then she's looking back down at it, but then he's jumping on her back and WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS FUCKEN GOING ON?!?! ]

[ she screeches and rears up on her hind legs, tentacles flailing, as she immediately starts trying to simultaneously smack the crab beast off and buck the starfish man off. ]

[ Yeah, so, he definitely doesn't have the upper body strength to hold on through a wild tentacle beast bucking session.

He grabs hold of one of the tentacles and then pitches forward, flipping over her head and land in front of her -- and activates Charm as he does so.

This is the only trap card he's got, so if it fails, guess the duel's over. ]

[ the crab gets flung off, so all she's got to concern herself with is king. she continues to thrash around and buck like it's going out of style, but instead of knocking him off all she manages to do is throw him over her head. she blinks, slashing at him in one quick motion just as he activates charm. ]

[ hopefully she's knocked him off, because the hss ability has her reeling in a mess of strange feels and she's not sure how she'd react if he were still attached to her. she stares at him, the gears of her monster brain turning. ]

[ he's hers.
and hurt.
but also hers.
but mostly hurt. ]

[ . . . ]

[ she needs to get something to show him that she's sorry, but also something to help with his wound. she makes a more somber sound at him, which CLEARLY means she'll BRB, and then she immediately bolts. ]

[ ... Ow.

Well, the slash is probably to be expected, as is the light and blood that immediately spills out and hits the sand.

Her running away, though? Yeah, that's not expected. That's the opposite of how Charm usually works!!

He curses under his breath -- presses one hand into the gashes on his shoulder -- and then immediately bolts for his parked bike. There's no way he's keeping up on foot. ]

[ #running. ]

[ there's got to be something around him for him.
like a present!
but also a bandage... ]

[ she could just lick him, but even her dumb animal brain thinks that's a bad idea and would make things worse. ]

[ He gets on the bike and guns it, trying to keep pace with her, but quickly realizes a few problems:

One, she can climb and jump and go over all kinds of terrain the bike can't.

Two, she's fast.

And three, it will be way, way too easy to lose sight of her and then lose the trail completely.

. . .

Texting and driving? You bet he is.

(Too bad he's getting blood all over his phone. Gross.) ]

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1/2

2/3 i lied

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